This is my last column for Mental Health Awareness Month, and I want to take a moment to thank each and every one of you for joining me on this journey of self-awareness. It’s not an easy path, but it’s a rewarding one. It took me years to grasp that the stories I grew up reading about the world and the reality I lived in were completely different. Bridging that gap required peeling back layers of ignorance, starting with my own.
The Many Faces of Ignorance
Ignorance isn’t just about lacking knowledge; it’s often not knowing what you don’t know. For much of my life, I considered myself well-informed because I read voraciously and absorbed facts like a sponge. But reading about life is not the same as living it. Books taught me about history and how to bake a decent loaf of bread, but they didn’t prepare me for life’s subtler challenges, like navigating relationships or understanding social norms.
That Time I Didn’t Know What a Wedding Party Was
Case in point: On Christmas morning, Derrick proposed. I was overjoyed but also completely clueless about what came next. Wanting to be proactive, I asked him how much he planned to contribute to the “wedding party.” He stared at me, utterly baffled. After a comical back-and-forth, he finally asked, “Do you mean the reception?” Turns out, I didn’t know there was a difference. That moment was both humbling and hilarious, but it also reminded me how often I’ve stumbled through life not knowing the basics.
The Makeup Lesson I Never Got
My lack of self-awareness extended even to the world of makeup. I’ll never forget watching my eldest daughter practice her skills with a borrowed caboodle full of makeup. She spent hours in front of the mirror experimenting with colors. When she noticed me watching, she hesitated, almost ashamed, and said she wanted to learn because she knew I couldn’t teach her. That hit me hard.
Growing up, I didn’t have the guidance to learn certain skills, and by the time I became a mother, I was scrambling to fill those gaps on my own. I tried to learn everything I could—cooking, cleaning, budgeting—but so much of it felt like trial and error. My kids were often my unwitting guinea pigs, especially when it came to cooking. Let’s just say there were plenty of burnt dinners and culinary disasters.
Learning Through Survival
Parenting while still figuring out how to be a functioning adult is no easy feat. Yet, somehow, we survived. My kids grew up with a mom who did her best, who showed up, and who was constantly learning. To hear them tell it, their childhood was an adventure filled with library trips, swimming lessons, and spontaneous lake outings. Sure, it was chaotic, but it was also full of love and creativity.
Today, all four of my children can cook well enough to feed themselves, manage their finances, and set boundaries—a skill I still wrestle with. If the goal of parenting is to raise kids who are better equipped for life than you were, then I consider that a win.
The Gift of Self-awareness
Reflecting on my journey, I’ve realized that self-awareness is the greatest gift we can give ourselves—and those around us. It’s about recognizing your limitations without shame, understanding that learning is a lifelong process, and embracing the fact that no one has it all figured out.
Every mistake, every moment of ignorance, has been an opportunity to grow. I’ve learned that it’s okay to ask for help, to admit when you don’t know something, and to laugh at your own missteps. Life doesn’t come with a manual, and that’s what makes it both messy and beautiful.
As this column comes to a close, I encourage you to reflect on your own journey of self-awareness. What have you learned about yourself? What blind spots are you still uncovering? And most importantly, how can you use that knowledge to grow into the person you want to be?
Check out more of my thoughts and things—this journey is far from over.
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